I was supposed to have a first date Thursday night.

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I’m 32 and single and my last real relationship was a few years ago. I’ve been on an off dating apps during that time, but anyone who is single in NYC and over 30 knows that process is its own kind of absurd hell.

A few weeks ago, I decided to restart the apps and put some effort into meeting someone. And I was actually excited about a first date with an adult man who had a real job and totally appropriate messages; he had even already seen my Twitter feed. Instead, I spent Thursday night disinfecting myself, my dog, and my clothes, and settled into social isolation at my mom’s house on Long Island.

If the situation weren’t so serious, I might be able to laugh this off as a cosmic plot to keep me single forever. The universe is just being the worst wingman right now.

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